Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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