we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
