Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I want to walk on stilts...naked
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
