allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just found puke in my bra..
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
