btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize