oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
My underwear smells like fireworks.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
