Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
