he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
