She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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