he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
