This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she smelled like a LAN party
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
