i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
