Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize