remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
