I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
