About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize