dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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