So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The feeling are messing with the penis
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
