That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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