I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
