the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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