Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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