bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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