he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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