STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize