Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I believe in your delicious
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
