She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
