maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
