this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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