Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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