Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
