Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
