They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
