I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
