...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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