well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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