I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
