5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
soo... how was my night?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
