I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
