I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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