new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize