I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
