Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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