Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Is this like a preordered booty call?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
