Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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