I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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