With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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