If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
