thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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