Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
