don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
