FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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