bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
