Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
