just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Ketchup is God's man juice
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
