I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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