he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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