Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
