Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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