is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
