you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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