you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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