How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
