The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
