Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize