I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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