We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
