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youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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