Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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